A review this good deserves a reward...

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Being extremely incredulous about products that claim things like, "THIS CAN CURE CANCER!", "THIS TOILET SEAT WILL STRAIGHTEN YOUR SPINE!", "THIS WATER BOTTLE KEEPS EVERYTHING COLD!!!". I approached my purchase of the Forever Cold Water Bottle like it was a plate of Ghost Pepper coated chicken wings. But after my first fill, I realized this was simply a nice, mellow, perfectly balanced buffalo sauce. This bottle is the real. I fill it every day with fridge temp water, leave it in my car (which sits in the sun) while at the office, and come out to the same temp water as when I filled it. My girlfriend's Mom thought it was black magic, so she threw it off the balcony. It BARELY DENTED! Even if it exploded in my face like that Adam Sandler's new movie about Native Americans, well that's why I got the 3 pack! It's like I'm freakin' Voldemort with my horcrux water bottles, YOU'LL NEVER FIND THEM ALL!! Bottom line, this thing works. It's a little big for my small hands, but that's my own damn fault for being a small person. CURSE YOU GENETICS! It never sweats and every person I show it to wants one. If everything in my life was as consistent as this bottle, I would be SET FOR LIFE! Alas, it's not. But at least I know that when I leave the office today and am sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, if some butthole wants to cut me off, guess how cold the water hitting him will be? ICE COLD!

– Andrew

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